Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Frequently Asked Questions

I have been growing in my popularity. My blog hits have gone up by 100% from two to four. In order to satiate the innate curiosity of my fan, here are the answers to the Frequently Asked Questions. Discerning readers might have noticed the singular Fan in the last sentence. It indicates only one person; me.

Why are you called SalaryMan? Do you have any superpowers?

SalaryMan is the name given to all salaried folks in Japan. It is pronounced as Saa-laa-ri-ma-an in Japanese. You can know more about SalaryMan in here. As far as I know, I have only one superpower; to withdraw money from ATM. I am on a path of self discovery and might figure out other powers on the way.

Are you the only SalaryMan chronicling your life?

I wish I was the only salary man. It would have meant oodles of traffic to my blog and hordes of money from Google adsense. Unfortunately neither is true. One of my ilks who write regularly is http://foreignsalaryman.blogspot.com. The blog is breezy read for someone with a Japanese context.

Who is this Showa?

Again a Japanese context. The calendar in Japan is as per the year of reign of the emperor. I was born in the reign of Showa and hence have decided to give myself the same pseudonym. All great writers have creativity, perseverance, command over language and pseudonym. I thought I will start with the pseudonym. In case you are wondering the current calendar is called Heisei and 2009 is Heisei 21.

You seem to have a Japan hang over? Where do you actually belong to?

I am an Indian by birth. However I am a true blue global citizen and would like to work for the upliftment of everybody starting with me. (Wait, that is a mix up from the speech I am writing for the Miss Universe pageant winner. Guys, I strongly suggest that you visit the page, you will not be disappointed. The operative word here is swimsuit competition.)

You are a very brave person, writing always about your wife. How do you manage to do it?

My bravery is directly attributed to a substance called alcohol. Moreover my wife does not know the URL of the blog.

What will happen when your wife finds it?

As a true blue salaryman, I have a Plan B. I run long distance and am part of a group called Runners for Life. If you see me running hard with a pretty lady chasing me, it means that I have been found out. You can help me by saying to my wife that she was alluded as pretty in my blog.

Why do you want to write a book?

I have been misunderstood. I do not want to write a book. I want to earn millions of dollars. I figured out that there must be somebody out there who will pay me up to shut up.

What part of your writing you are most proud of?

That is a easy one. My five tweets to Gul Panag. She replied twice to me. You can also try it out here. In case you want to follow me and get more URLs like the Miss Universe one, please connect with me on twitter.

When are you going to stop?

I always stop at 500 words on my blog. I am definitely going to write every week till end of 2009. I might disappoint all of you and continue writing afterward too. All I can say is "Sorry".

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Balance of Power

This is a flash back. Some of the events mentioned in this post are embellished and could be a figment of my imagination. My wife definitely thinks so. I would let you decide.

I was newly married. Being married was bliss. I could not understand the lament of many of my married friends. Life was a bed of roses except for the aunts. One of things which I abhorred about being newly married is all the old matrons giving a wink and asking "Any good news". My standard answer was always I read times of India's last page and it is filled with only good news with respect to Madonna, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They seemed to be increasing the population of their household through adoption. My reaction as a newlywed, when I read those news articles was "Lazy folks".

My father had advised me that the first week of the marriage decides the balance of power between the man and the woman. I took the advice very seriously. Hence when my wife brought up the discussion of doing it, my proposition was simple; once a week.

There shall be no excuses like headaches or I am feeling very tired. One of condition was there we should make it interesting with hot water or by trying out different brands. We even tried perfumed ones. The result was there for everyone to see. We became the model couple.

Women of the yore in India like to do it in the sitting posture. I prefer the standing one. One of the things which I like about India is that you can get hired help to do it. Missus and I made a pact to hire a nice person. Not that I did not want to do it.

I would request readers not to get misled. I was only talking about doing dishes here. According to my wife doing the dishes is ultimate proof of my affection to her.

As all married guys know that, it is important to prove your affection at every available opportunity. When my wife complains that my affection for her has diminished over the ages. My favorite come back is that "No way, I came back from the game in 2 hour 50 minutes, instead of 3 hours. I also spoke to you for 2 minutes continuously yesterday".

Two hoots to my father's advice. I do not care about the balance of power as long it can earn brownie points. Bring on the dishes.

PS Glossary: - Perfumed ones is Scented dish washing powder, in case you are wondering.