Saturday, December 11, 2010

Cult Fiction

When I was between jobs, one of the career options I had before me was to start a Cult. The basic structure of the Cult is the same everywhere. Here is a non exhaustive list I made:

  • Smile enigmatically.
  • Get a contract signed before hand with all the cult followers.
  • Speak with pregnant pauses (and also ensure that only pauses are pregnant).
  •  Make sure that private retiring quarters are not spy-cam friendly.
  • Acquire new wheels. If you do not have the money, do not worry, banks are more than willing to finance cult leaders. Apparently they are more successful than  technology start-ups.
  • Have levels. It is important for your followers to feel that they have are progressing spiritually.
  • Keep a lecture ready. If you do not have here is a starter one.
The Myth of Inner Happiness
My fellow Universal beings, who keep asking “what’s up” and also are in the eternal quest of happiness; Today I am going to talk about the myth. The myth of inner happiness. 

Happiness is as elusive as the wind which caresses your face or as sure as the facebook poke. You have been told that the happiness lies within yourself. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you have been told a lie.
Your happiness depends on the external world and how you react to it. One month back, my ashram accountant told me that our cash balance has fallen below a billion dollars. 

I opened my arms
And stretched it far and wide
Asked for Alms
Came in Dollars, Rupees, Yens, Euros and even a helicopter ride
When faced with penury
I did not wallow in pity
There in lies the moral of story

Seriously, Happiness belongs to those who seek it. My mantra for happiness is as follows
  • Always be in the company of people who laugh and make others laugh
  • Surround yourselves with photos and memorabilia of family, friends
  • Love
Happiness is not just with in you. It is easier if you get it to work for you. Create an environment which makes you happy; A family dinner, friendly conversation, run in the woods, well done report in time, crossed off to do lists, filed papers, reading good books, watching a play, holding hands while walking, generosity.
So children, your inner self is dependent on the environment you create for yourself.   

Draw a circle around you and fill it with happy friends, happy books, happy plays and movies and see your inner world becoming happy.

I would like to quote my guru, Douglas Adams in the seminal book The hitchhikers guide to galaxy
to answer the supreme question
What’s up
I do not know, I have never been there
Be happy and make me and my accountant happy either through cash or credit cards. Love to you all.

Ps:- Please check out Gretchen Rubin blog on happiness.

1 comment:

  1. Whenever I read, listen to or think about happiness- it feels like emotional atyachar being initiatied. All gurus including the cult ones seems to have heavy doses for happy life. If i have to believe on Newtonian principles a more balance feelings consisting of of little of all should be pursued.