Monday, April 20, 2009

Right Choice, Baby

It is vastly surprising that Decisions gets made these days. Right from Coffee to Matrimony there are Six billion choices.

“When I was growing up” was the first choice for me to start this piece. I replaced it because my wife strongly opines that the process of my growing up is not completed still. I believe that a Man has to stand up for himself some times; especially when I have not told Radhika about this blog. So, when I was growing up there were only 2 choices for Coffee at home – Either you drink it or not.

A Coffee drinker makes a refined choice these days. The alpha males' order for Coffee goes like this:
The Coffee beans should belong to South Brazilian plantation and of 1985 vintage. The beans should have been picked by damsels swaying to simple harmonic motions between 6:37AM to 7:45 AM. The plantation should be equal opportunity employer and can employ males also, if they are certified to sway as per standards. I do not have the other details because the Alpha males do not divulge their secrets of their perkiness so easily.

Mathematicians can scoff on the statement for Six billion choices for Matrimony as it is close to population of earth. They might not be progressive enough to figure out that Matrimony can be between same genders too. However they are putting their skills to greater use as per the news article sent to me by an alert reader - The Mathematicians in Japan are working hard to make you look Sexy. This is what happens when you belong to a breed which came up with Sudoku. I kick myself for not taking higher Math. When I am caught ogling and asked “what you are thinking?” I can safely reply:

If you were born in Japan or a Brazillian plantation owner you would be quick to realize that it is the equation for Simple Harmonic Motion.


Not only one has their own personal choice but also the help of zillions of netizens to help them out. When I was still growing up, watching movies was an indulgence. I had limited money and was dependent on friends with similar taste and fatter wallet to decide on the movies to watch. Now, the trip to movie involves checking out the movie site, ratings given by other watchers, figuring out the fate of other movies employing the same spot boy and the astrological position of the Sun of the producer. As per my calculation, I spend close to 137 minutes to make the choice for a 90 minute movie. I then spend another 142 minutes to put my ratings in later.

Given the days of recession and my status of being currently unemployed, I do not have the luxury of choices. I have dusted my Math and Physics books and have started looking for a recruiter position in Coffee plantations in Brazil. I need to apologize for not using the right word for unemployed, as advised by numerous Job Search aid sites which is “I am between dreams”.

4 comments:

  1. Bhagwan Damn it. Haven't the Japanese invented enough that you had to ascribe Sudoku also to them? Sudoko was invented in good 'old USA (see http://www.maa.org/editorial/mathgames/mathgames_09_05_05.html ). The Japanese just gave it a cool sounding name, after all if they can sell a drink called "pocari sweat" they can sell anything.
    As to the coffee part I can tell you that growing up I did not care if there was gutter pani in my cup as long as I had the right...um...milk jugs in front of me

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  2. //I spend close to 137 minutes to make the choice for a 90 minute movie. I then spend another 142 minutes to put my ratings in later.//
    completely agree with you.Hype and over expectation kills the joy of watching a simple movie.
    as for coffee,i just spent a ridiculous amount at CCD and paid for coffee that was just not worth it.I realized it is the company that sits across the table (cant find an appropriate term like Mr.Videsi)that really matters.
    sorry for hijacking the comment box !

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  3. Videsi and Gaz, thanks for the comments.

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  4. Jai,
    Hilarious post buddy. I agree, the number of choices one has these days is mind-numbing.
    "I believe that a Man has to stand up for himself some times; especially when I have not told Radhika about this blog. So, when I was growing up there were only 2 choices for Coffee at home – Either you drink it or not" - lol
    Fortunately in my work, I have a similar choice : I can choose to do it willingly or unwillingly.
    Naveen did mention about your 'between dreams' status. Good luck for your dream search.
    Cheers,
    Salil

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